She Was [Part 3]

The kind master (me) would like to thank her for her kind regards.

 

It's a wonderful time to be alive, and my thoughts are turning to the theme of love, tugging at my heartstrings and bringing them to life. I keep thinking that there's someone we all need to hold, and for me, that person was the dearest love of my life. My mind was filled with doubt, but she appeared out of nowhere, giving me a reason to live a steady life and to distinguish good from evil. Even in the long, dark tunnel where I was alone, she was my nightlight. The perpetual twinkle in her eyes was like the unending bliss of heaven, and I wish life could be everlasting so that I could surrender to the moment and be happy forever. The search for constant happiness usually ends with her, and with her by my side, I feel like I can chase time, tell her all the stories I write in my head about us, take risks, and work hard to make it all worthwhile.

 

It's magic, the way she came around. Whenever we got close, she always wanted to preserve whatever ongoing attraction we had (considering our long glances) and seek something interesting or just exchange a shy "Hi." She waited for it to happen more than I could ever know.

 

I'm like a heatwave following her wherever she goes now, drawn to her beatific smile that I've grown so used to that I can't settle for anything else. Her voice brings me good luck, and I remember how seraphic she looked when we first met as kids, and how excited I was to see her again as a sophomore. I notice that she has incredibly narrow feet when I look at pictures of her.

 

This morning, the sunshine is blinding her eyes, and I'm at her place, trying to think of some cheesy pickup lines to share breakfast together and playing a game of rolling a biscuit packet to get her to join me for an informal bite. It was dumb, I know, but as a lonely soul, I was just happy to spend time with her.

 

I also remember griping about the food, and she did the same many other times, as if she cared and watched over me. When I talk, she listens with her heart, sitting right in front of me. I can't forget the way her nails were painted in faded red, even though my life is a perfect mess.

 

I want you to know that her friends seem to know me, or have I become the subject of her gossip lately? Tell them I'm only worth a few thousand; I don't mind. That's a lot of choco cookies for you and me.

 

I really don't know how to tell her, but I remember thinking how the moonlight was shining on her face and thinking how pretty she was. Wait a second while I take a mental picture of this moment, because it will fade away, but I just want to remember the way the light hits her face. I have feelings for her that will never change.

??? [Part 2]

Erased [Part 1]

The essential concept and the first truth, where life seems irrational, meaningless, and worsening, make me fall back to my previous condition and revert to the old rules to maintain a higher state.

 

So, I slackened my pace as I got tired and relaxed my efforts.

 

But what if one of us kept on holding on? I always wondered, "Will you leave behind your morally repugnant customs?" Being such an abominator to feel that someone (me) has peaked in their real life.

 

But then, a thought always entered my mind: "Would I ever really be enough?" So, to not die under this question, there were as many heroic undertakings to make everything better for you. Had you made a last desperate attempt to show some correct behavior, we could have tinged the sky purple and pink together (the sunsets I love and maybe you too).

 

Just realizing how dope the purple-pink jerseys would have been while digging up the playlist I made for you with a bunch of my favorite songs to listen to on a runaway to some places where they would never find us. But I had to delete it, basically revoking the blessings I would have given you. You actually didn't deserve to hear this much heat.

 

Let's make it easy, or let the words begin to lift from my hollow skin or fall from your mouth just because I'm listening. Call me heartless, cold, clingy, vernacular, or place me in the dirt.

 

Well, for me now, "You are just a lost prize" - neither gained nor won. I'm never ever catching up with your senses or your mind. For I've been impaled by this doubt and don't want this forever feeling. I wish fate never brings us together, so that I can pray for myself the change to Be Real, Be Here, Be Ready Again, Be Strong, Be Fierce, Be Everything.

 

I just want to say, it's fair losing you than losing it all. This is what will make me feel safer and filled in the things I have got into.

 

I have forgotten you.

 

I know it's been twisted, but to meet is the beginning of parting...

 slams the door crying

Lonesome as Transmission Tower

After a successful leap from college. I knew that this phase of elation will come to an end. 

You all knew that how much I hated this place in beginning & how this trend was reversed (if not pls do refer to my very first blog)

I will say that those were the salad days where I felt much better than currently. I used to know what was the purpose of the next day every previous night, I could tell I'm going to get a wake-up call at dark thirty & be under a barrage of questions in the CONTROL SYSTEM Class by the Professor.  ... because I just portrayed myself as if I have lost my path & would never fulfill the glory of my parents envisioned future (i.e to be a proficient Er.). Anyway I'm going to pay my respects to him after all he was teaching me one of my favorite subject. But I do think he underrated me alot.

So I used to enjoy in the POWER SYSTEM Class, As the Guy was a easy teacher. He used to crack some funny jokes in between of his expert time. He used to easily catch a drift in conversation. Here's one of it -

Once in a random Power System Class... he asked, have you seen how the transmission towers are erected upto such a height inspite of being on barren lands, rocky hills alone all day & night & the answer was obvious using a helicopter.

So this random class roused me in the most diffident & abashed stage of my life. I could finally rout out transmission tower is lonesome as a solitary speck in the sky as I was in my crowded days. So Guess now we'll join the club. As everything was so relatable that we used to share same route to any place & the most desirable feature of the journey will be getting standing ovations from them. As I was searching visually the severalised creations who were never caught by any senses or minds.

Those were one who greatly influenced me.

I'm not sure why they were always present everywhere inspite of me running being halfway broken, Cause we both were halfway broken.

So Here's to the Broken ones

I tried to be closer but they were something else, a demon - devil - a freak - all possible synonyms people knew & talking about the dangers those EHV lines poses to their loved ones, Animals, Plants, their carbon emission Vehicles (you all for better switch to electric or hybrid cars) & causing corrosion to their fancy FENCES.

So the People at last hit upon : Staying away from these Giant Pylons.

But being a Human & Electrical Engineer its unavoidable just happens that they are always nearby because I use to know their breathing sounds - the Hum of electricity that used to rattle through my bones to make me follow areas across this harsh land, hoping that soon I will find the main source.

The main source from which all ugliness, cruelty,  repulsiveness will die out.

And now I call forth all those Transmission Towers to whom I might have known to enlighten me in dark showing their bluish glow *corona discharge* & would sound me off to sleep while they wide awake.

Momently I feel blessed for mentioning the toiled & alonest Transmission Tower, somewhere on the isolated part of hill under sunny, snowy, rainy conditions as they stand by for your bloom of youth, where you'll definitely be enjoying the services of it.

A Treatise on my Meager Diet

A prescribed selection of food is what diet means.
For me only Diet (term) was not sufficient but with a add on "Meager". So "Meager Diet" further cutsoff portion of food.
I didn't plan in carrying into action.
It hits my life unconditionally & I couldn't deny it.
Merely It had great impact on my body which kinda helped me in shaping up to my modelling look(a fantasy coming throughout my teenage).
Yes, I tried & made an effort to become the materialization of my own dream &............."her" dream. Literally I attribute her as a hypothetical creature till date & no wucking furries if she is findable.
I had to outlook my present. And make myself believe about how comely I will be after the process. I knew it isn't so easy to go all out & execute. As it was with my LUMIA 950XL that won't charge unless it's plugged in, though it supports wireless charging(fanboyism) with very small range, where one of my influencee namely 'Nikola Tesla' viewed for wireless electricity transfer; but what we use is overhead & underground transmission lines, HVDC links, AC Switchyards, EHV AC systems....(Power System terminologies).
These all needed a force of effort.
For me taking the initiation was a tough nut to crack, but braved the elements......how??
I would keep criticizing harshly on myself. Creating a severity of character that I see in people who listen rock & metallic handbanger music ohhh... just hate these eccentric people - you all better try my all time favourite artists - Dabin, Said The Sky, Illenium, IHF, Yung Wall Street, Kultur, Kick N Licks,..O,..,S...& the list goes on.
Those times I kept myself occupied  with the work ethics which would include cycling to the Gym that was in the center of the city (not mentioning which) before the dawn. Firstly that was very irritating, but day by day I started becoming a morning person. I used to get up early & the first step would be to settle the morning wood (Umm...now thats every gents issue), complete the humanly chores, get into the gym clothes, fill the water bottle, grab two bananas, get out of that room without disturbing the chums, descend the stairs, hop on the cycle & take it up to parallel lines which heads down the road. Just eating one banana to fill my tummy before I am sunkissed with Vit-D or start feeling homesick while passing through the atmosphere where moms preparing tasty food for their children's lunch box & the family.
I would paddle impatiently till I reach at top out against the air resistance.
So now all my involved muscles were going to relax as I was lined up for a coast down to my destiny. But as told by General Iroh (of Avatar: The Last Airbender) that " Destiny is a funny thing". So when hitting the Gym my every relaxed loosen up muscle were grabass & I was like forced to carry on the old traditions of what tall guys do to be an aesthetic person.

Reminisce of good time I had with Windows 10 mobile.

Nowadays its common to see Android & ios users in your vicinity. Your friends may be its users with that eaten Apple logo, default Apple ringtone & the beep, where some sample these devices(iPhone) & give up when they can't find the back button(they are not familiar to Apple ios Ecosystem)- These are the Android users. Stating my opinion - Android is for Demotics.
This is the reason why we see the share of Android in the mobile OS pie is bigger. But these users are unaware they are open to vulnerabilities. The company(coughingly Google) never makes efforts to update every handsets running their OS with the Feature Updates & the Security Patches.
(My fanboyism makes me write the above)

And here it's me entirely different from these peeps, using the Windows 10 "Mobile Edition" on my Lumia 640xl & Lumia 950xl.(yes I own 2 beautiful Lumias)
Rumour has it Windows Phone is Dead. So now that Windows 10 Mobile is officially been declared "No longer a focus" - by Microsoft.
I would like to commemorate its existence by sharing a good time. I had when using it out there in the world.
Here's one I had.
One day last year(my pre final year) at a coffee shop across the street of Fergusson College Road (PUNE) on a visit to Viju Uncle. I was eating my lunch & suddenly remembered I need to complete my Seminar Report {entitled as "Prepaid Energy Meters Using Smartcards"- it's like pay before use, no bill production(saving trees) & reducing human errors(increased bills or double bills)} in partial fulfilment of the requirement for the award of degree of Bachelor of Engineering Technology.
That time I didn't have a Laptop but still needed Productivity & had my Bluetooth keyboard and mouse to my Lumia 950xl.
A few minutes later, an older couple at the table in front of me start whispering and sneaking glances at me. I could tell that they wanted to ask me something. The lady finally turns around and asks me about my keyboard and mouse and what kind of phone I am using. I mention that it's a Microsoft phone called Lumia 950xl and that I got the keyboard and mouse from Amazon. She gives this slightly surprised look on her face and says: I didn't know that Microsoft's phones could do that. We thought you just happened to have a really small computer tablet.
It made me smile.
They started to ask me more questions about it so I told them of all the neat & great things it could do. They appreciated and thanked me for answering their questions.
As I was paying, the barista said: I wanted to ask you about your phone too. I thought it was cool how you were using it like a little computer. I think I'd get me one instead of a laptop.
I agreed and gave her my thanks.
That was my good experience.

Microsoft has future plans for phones & new OS but still not clear just going on internally. I realised the power of Windows & Microsoft hardware when one of the funny anecdote was Microsoft handed these devices(new category of mobile- Satya Nadella) to their developers Directors and leaders across the Windows Organization & the company started getting all those bug reports saying the battery meter's not working. It says I still have a full charge. It turned out not to be a bug; it just has a great battery life.

I will be waiting for the new category of mobile.
Till,
This is NOT the end of "Windows on Mobile", but this is the end of Windows 10 "Mobile Edition".

 

A Fantasy

It was July gloom. I could feel the moist atmosphere, the perfumed air of July, the scented tee shirt I wore & the complex odour of unread thick-billed books lying under the bed. The room resembled none less than any perfumed boudoir.

Aromatically, my mind slipped into the illusion & envisaged of me sitting on modern armchair in unstrained manner after having a smooch from the beloved person (a college boy fantasy) & having drip coffee with filled cookie jar in the ample balcony, enjoying scenical after hours of monsoon drips from the skyscraper. I could see the green lawns, clumps of trees making anyone to just plunge onto them. The sky colored grey as if it has wrapped all the pollution & the city looked cleaner giving a clear vision up to the last building in the vicinity.
But still I could see people & cars moving, I know they have indulged themselves into fast track life. But they should try being semiregular for these moments too.
As I moved my eyes, the beautiful scenery now & then attracted my attention--- A perfect daydream.


The above visions mind showed were one of the wishes of my heart.
But there are many difficulties in grappling it.
Major problem between me & the fantasyland was "distance".
The distance is too much & covering it would take almost a day spending a tedious day in train or bus making me tired, with pain in the butt & neck. Making loose my interest in the place & the events happening nearby.
I wish I could just be teleported from my place to my visionary. I have seen this happening in many Films -(listing few of them)- Harry Potter series, Fantastic beasts and where to find them, Guardians of galaxy, Men In Black.
Teleportation, Time travelling & other fantasises always had attractile towards me since my childhood. When I realised that we all are mortal & not as "The Brook"(poematic)--
                 "Men may come and men may go,
                             But I go on forever."

Many great people have mentioned in their hypothesis about possibilities of all the future fantasises.
One of it is De-Broglie's hypothesis- it stated the Dual nature of matter & was proved experimentally giving very early stage development to first Teleportation Device. {Just like the early stage development of Surface Phone a successor to LUMIA phones by Microsoft (fanboyism)}
I fully blame on to our technology, that has so many gimmicks till date. Just like ANDROID; Better Switch to Windows 10..(fanboyism)
"But truly I would like to look on and resolve all the drawbacks", I promised to myself.--But how--
By collecting the smallest possible wavelength produced by any static body & superimposing it on the high frequency carrier signal with the help of modulation and demodulate it at any desired location.     ----sounds easy right----
               The instrument required so is not in existence due to limitation and gimmicks in our technology.
So, till date Mind is the only fastest way to travel to anywhere where we want and enjoy the beauty.

Stay up leads to ( Part 2)

Happenings with me . Yep! Almost EVERY NIGHT--Stay Ups-- After short-living in this situation. I used to get a wakeup call from the dedicatee (11 kV/400 volts distribution sub-station).How come---Well they have the control over Distribution Systems...& as well as the "CIRCUIT BREAKERS".
Oh dark thirty the fan stops, being habitual to the shrilling sound of the fan my room gets hit by a Silent Curse. I feel suffocative under my woollen blanket , which DAD brought from GUWAHATI. The room was smothering--hot and airless.
I simply open-and-shut to see the fan switch is ON. Being intact, I stretched myself & made a move towards window & slided it limpingly. It was JULY Gloom. Suddenly there's check in of cool & fresh air, the Amla trees waves its branches with its small elliptical green leaves and the spheric Amalas tries to exchange polite hellos, with chirping of birds in background.

MY MIND Too apprize me GUD MORNING "Aabhi"

Memorabilia :- "Back in my FYJC sessions for supplement doses in ENGLISH Language. I used to go to Mrs. Rupam Raj Mam at her home . She used to make us come up with a Proverb .
My search ended at......
"Be the Master of Mind rather being Mastered by Mind"

So back to present, Time to apply it practically. I was against my mind which was the enjoyer of this sight.
But for me not a pretty sight so I vocalised," Stay back! & just convert our CO2 into O2".
I unfirm from the spot of sight for sore eyes & got into Bed --Ahh its such a heavenly feel but with a headache because being perfect at the student center topped my to-do list, I slipped into the blanket on my tummy with head under pillow & refused to budge to all the disturbing frequencies. Till my LUMIA with the inbuilt App "Alarms & Clock" by Microsoft Corporation (Simply Fanboyism) Wakes me from its back firing speakers from the LUMIA Smartphone Division.

Epilog :- Readers please don't misunderstand my stay up causes as
• Iam deeply in love with someone.
• I slept empy stomach. (happens sometimes)
• Empty Nest Syndrome.
So Just Stay Tuned & may be made visible.

Hatred turned into Veneration

At the stage of my life as Student, which means seeking knowledge,gaining experience,facing ups & downs...finally ready and waiting to be technocrat till fully-fledged.
Interestedly, My currentness student center took my enough time to savvy itself. The Desire of completing higher education (still pursuing) felt like was incomplete from the starting post (No I'm not talking of horses). When the place where I was going to spend my time of life was eagerly waiting for me.
It took almost 8-hrs to reach.
Every new place is Likeful & Cryptic. In my mind the jumping thoughts provoked. Am I Supposed to be here or deserve something better. A mere play of fate. Has God Well-Chosen for me this time:- Okay the place here is not mentionable, but maybe later more proudly & with bells on - I was RIGHT THERE!!!!. It was hard for me , totally fed-up as being a CityBoy . The days just passed , I was left with nothing done from Dawn to Dusk that would satisfy my mind and balance it.

Blaming the area started creating hatred towards it. I understood the meaning of "Vernacular Region".
Still for indemnity something needed to be done before I was turned into Destroyed Jeans. It was my thought of havin hard cheese which made me look into my vicinities for festivities & made me frivolous person. My random journeys, understanding the local people & their living made it. Else Belief in God did helped to sort out. I always heard of the famous pilgrimage destination--SHIRDI--(which lies in my vicinity) & imagined it to be on a Hill but turned into Holy City, which was cleared on a pilgrim's journey with the chums.(It should be at good authority that the Temple of Shirdi is not situated on any Hill). I was really amused with the world class-facilities, Free Bus-Service….The Shirdi Municipal did all it's best towards cleanliness seeing the no. Of Devotees.
Accounting to Devotees, Street shopping was at the peak. The city never slept, Devotees in queue for worship. The sound of chants of prayer did heal up & gave a feeling of "coming home tonight". I just spotted on the place where all my past good deeds had brought me.. Ohhh. God, you just….High…. .
Bonanzas..Life changed. I Stole The Show at the Academics with true (Smart+Hard) work. I was looker-on as a good drunk.(The Last hope for them in the world, as it was Aang- The Last Airbender for all the four Nations - A Nicklodean Showbiz).

After all these years , I don't miss the opportunities to visit the mystic place Ahh.. & one more to mention MY LUMIA (simply fanboyism) ; A Life Companion.
It will always be at highest priority & not at all maskable { like Trap - the hardware interrupt (microprocessor terminology) }


Epilog
• The Cryptic place of my interest should not be misadapt as SHIRDI.
Stay-tuned & May be made visible.